Working Title

The end of a day. Changing of the guard.

High as hell, red-eyed and cotton mouthed. To my right, a mug of Baileys and hot water with the scale tipped more in Baileys favor. To my left, the future. Well, not really...but this is MY blog. I haven't been writing as much as I should be. Life intervenes but excuses are for the weak or so I've learned in the last few months. Take your licks and keep it moving. Forward motion; always forward motion. You feel that ground slipping out from under you, best grow some wings kid.

Friday night and I'm sitting in front of a computer screen 'un-winding'. The old lady went out with her wife, both in new dresses. Pretty as ever. Something in the way she moves me I believe was the lyric, I really couldn't describe it better. Awe inspiring is the best I got right now.

I take care of mine. Really good care and it puts a smile on my face and a warmth in my chest that Baileys could never compare to. Pales really. I love the feeling of making those I hold closest smile. It makes me whole like the piece of me that I was seeking out for all those dark years was closer then I could have imagined. I stretch myself too thin sometimes but its all just an exercise in perseverance and seeking a better balance.

I'm not there yet...

My balance is swayed by interior and exterior factors. Some things childish and little. Others mature and pressing. Growth as a person can be an extremely complicated puzzle but my patience is growing as well as my tactics for tackling it. Don't get so uptight dick head. Words to live by. Let go of the tone and listen to the words, hard to do but not impossible.

To be quite honest I don't know where I'm going with any of this. Sometimes it's just nice to rant. Sometimes it's just nice to shut the fuck up and listen too and sometimes...sometimes it's just nice to be loved and treasured for the unique motherfucker you are.

Now if you'll excuse me, my glass is empty and I need some sleep.

Cheers.